My thoughts have ran here and there as I began typing this. I have not blogged about our most recent hurdle because, quite frankly, I haven't felt like putting it down on paper (or blog!). But now it is time. :)
So most of you that are reading this are probably so in the dark! What is she talking about? I have been struggling with infertility for a year now. How could I be struggling with infertility when we already have one? Well after much reading and research, it is called "Secondary Infertility". It is when you can conceive one just fine, but then after that it is a struggle to get pregnant.
Yes we have been trying to add to our snoodle family. Yes we know that the kiddos will be really close together, although not as close as what we originally would have liked. And yes, I want lots of kids! :)
I have to admit that at times I have felt defeated. I mean, all I ever wanted was to be a mom to many. Our Camille is such a joy and a pleasure to have. She lights up my world. I miss her when I am not with her. So why not add more to the fun mix!
So we started trying, which is the fun part of getting pregnant! And every month a negative. Every month frustration. And these past coupel of months I finally let myself cry.
Through all of this I found myself drawing closer to God. God has been showing me so many things through all of this. That I am a good mom (yes the thought struck me that we couldn;t h ave more children because I was a bad mom. Yes I know that is a lie!) That He loves me so much and that He has not forgotten me. That He loves fullfilling the desires of our hearts! So many things...
So we will continue to wait and pray and believe that God is taking care of everything and that eventually we will have another baby snoodle.
Loves~jenn
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